Depressed, but decided to do something about it!

Posted 24 September 2015

Dear old depression visiting me again big time today... I just don’t have time for this nonsense!  So much to do and no time to waste!  Let the flipping tears flow if they must... life must go on!  

Sitting alone on a public holiday... why should today be any different for me... it’s just another day.  I can hear the neighbours talking and laughing... all working people are off today... I work at home, so for me I don’t really experience days off... always too much to do anyway... half the time I don’t even know what day it is and time seems to have no meaning for me anymore... Office work is quiet today, but I needed to do a blog post and other stuff that is always pressing to be done... Writing always helps when I’m depressed, so I actually did need to do this right now!  

Four walls... stuck in these four walls... talk about claustrophobic!

Got sad news yesterday that my little great-nephew has been diagnosed with a growth in his ear that is already affecting his skull...  a biopsy has been done and we are waiting for the results.  They live so far away... I feel helpless... agonising over what my family on the other side of the world must be going through... all I can do is pray and call for others to pray... so please would you also pray with us all for Duke and his family and medical team to be able to help the little guy to full healing.  How I wish I could be with them to do my bit to help them all through this.   

These walls aren’t helping... they seem to be closing in on me today!

Did a load of washing and hung it... another load in... picked up dog poop with the poopa-scoopa!  Picked a pile of little golden cherry tomatoes... still need to wash dishes and clean up the kitchen... and bath... 

Don’t feel very motivated at all!  I really want to just go curl up in my bed and sleep the day off!

What does Logotherapy teach me?  

I need to move in the direction of meaning... 

Don’t just sit here wallowing in the sadness and letting the depression keep me here... 

NO... I need to take action if I want to get out of this state... 

I am responsible for what state I “choose” to be in...

I don’t like how I’m feeling right now so I choose not to stay here!

What can I do to help myself right now? 

Hmmmmm.... 

My sister introduced me a while back to the art form called Zentangles... oh how I love doing them!  I love doodling and a Zentangle is like a glorified doodle... very relaxing and fun to do.  I haven’t done one in ages... I haven’t given myself the time to do one... it’s about time I did another one.  I’ll share a picture or two of ones I did before and if I actually do one today I’ll share it later also... YAY!  

This is exactly what I feel like doing right now... chat later everyone!

~ Pana