Beautiful Green Balloons ~ A Healing Messages of Love and Unity for our Family

The lovely green balloon from the roof

​Written: 13 April 2019
Follow up on the last post
A few days ago, in a fit of depression, while sticking my finger into the precious soil I have kept in a little packet, from the ground  breaking ceremony (many years ago) of a most beautiful church building, I looked up at my pictures of my Greek mother, my brother and my sister Anne (all on the other side of the veil), and pleaded with them to help me to find a way to fix our family and to bring healing, and I also kneeled and prayed to my Father in Heaven and begged him to make the seemingly impossible possible for my family and I… and that’s when my mentor reached out with her offer to help me… and help me she did… it one letter of response from her, a huge healing leap happened in me… I at least had a new way of seeing things and a possible way forward. Logotherapy is incredible… that’s all I’m saying.
 
Yesterday, my daughter took my youngest son and I to visit my dad.  I felt rather anxious about going there, but desperately wanted to see him and after my mentor’s strengthening and healing letter, I felt I could do it.  I could go there and be with my Greek family in a new way.  Not the way of desperately needing, wanting or expecting their love (on the level of my inner child, Patty’s longings), but rather in a new way of just being content that I can still have them in my life in whatever way they wish and choose to be a part of my life or to show their portion of love… I decided that, that would be far better than not having them at all. 
 
But a new way, does mean that I lose my “Little Patty” connection with them… the innocence of love she gave for so many years, and love expectation she always reached and cried out for from her Greek family. 
 
Somehow my mentor managed to authenticate and acknowledge Patty’s deep emotions on the subject in that one response of hers, to such an extent and on such a deep level, and with so much genuine understanding love, that Patty was at last able to let go of her longing need for her Greek Families love in the way “she expected” it… She was left dejected and empty (but only for a very short time while I was working through what happened when I read my mentor’s letter)… but she now feels so nurtured by my mentor’s response, that it’s okay… it’s okay… it’s okay… It’s as if she is being held in the warm arms of love (Mother Nature’s arms… Heaven’s Arms), and being told that everything is going to be alright… she is understood, and she is safe … she is completely loved and completely accepted…
 
My Beautiful Green Balloon

As we left home yesterday in my daughter’s car to go and visit my dad, we noticed on our roof, attached to a dead palm frond, a green balloon.  For me, an instant sign to Patty… EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT… Green is nature… nature is nurture… balloons are Patty’s thing… white balloons for when she dies… but this green balloon was an indication of LIFE… and of all that is still good, beautiful, right, healing and true in her life.  I trusted in this reassuring sign sent to me from somewhere, where I believe that I am truly loved… the other side of the Veil… where I am truly understood… (because there they can see the whole picture) everything is going to be alright.
 
Daddy was so happy to see me.  Jumped out of his chair and gave me a big, warm and welcoming hug and kiss.  My wonderful nephew, was there also, he was smiling when I arrived and opened the car door for me, making me feel welcomed… he also hugged me warmly… I felt safe then.  
 
While we were visiting, my nephew taught my youngest son how to play Backgammon.  Something my dad loves to do and is good at, so that even though one cannot communicate easily in words with my dad anymore because of his deafness, we can still play backgammon with him as just another form of communication.  He can still see smiles and laughter… he can still see friendly and loving eyes and he can still feel a warm and friendly presence, so there is still a way to communicate lovingly and happily with him, and that’s a beautiful thing… it’s enough.
 
My sister, sister in law and her mom all arrived while we were there… it was all good… I didn’t feel 100% comfortable which I’m sure is acceptable, considering the recent family struggle I’d experienced, but I didn’t feel hated in that moment at least, or judged.  I did withdraw a bit though and struggled to be a full part of the conversation… and it did cause an increase in my anxiety levels exponentially (panic anxiety), which stayed with me right until I finally fell asleep at bed time.  I’m okay with this reaction, because I imagine that it is normal under the circumstances.  Things have been strained between us… trust has been damages… we just need time to re-establish our relationships and find our way back to healing and trust again… even a new way… hopefully a better way… a more real way… a way that no longer includes my pain-filled, unrealistic childhood fantasies.  Anything is possible where love is present though and I love my family so much.
 
When I arrived home from my visit there, I used a broom to pull the dead palm frond off the roof of our house where it was resting, and it came down with that beautiful green balloon still attached to it with a thin purple ribbon.  I felt that there was a gently, loving symbolic message between the dead palm frond and the beautiful green balloon.  (I think I know who sent it, because of the symbolic nature of the message).  I hugged my balloon and thanked “whoever”, with the deepest of gratitude filling my heart with love for them… and feeling an abundance of love from them.  It is in my room now, next to me on my table.  When I hug it and put my cheek against it, it’s Patty hugging it… she loves balloons… she is so grateful for this lovely green one that brought with it a reassuring message of love and acceptance to her from another place somewhere out there… yet a place so close it can be felt as if it is right here.’
 
My youngest son and I spent the afternoon at my daughter’s house and just relaxed (much needed) and enjoyed a lovely chicken and salad lunch together there.  I love spending time with my daughter.
 
Unexpected garden help – another of my many daily Miracles and blessings
At the end of this post on my Facebook page, I added: P.s. I need a long ladder and help to get the dead palm fronds off of both trees please...

The very next day, as if he’d seen my post, (which he couldn’t have, because he’s not one of my FB friends), Shem arrived on his bicycle (don’t ask me how he did this… he’s magic!)… armed with a long ladder, made up of two smaller ladders, held together precariously with electrical cord.  He had seen our need on his previous visit and had arrived to come cut all the leaves off.  My son was here to help him and to steady the ladder, and together they worked on the trees… it looks so much better now.  And amazingly, our neighbour was also cutting dead branches off of his tree at the same time, so he offered to take away all our garden refuse along with is own.  Talk about Miracles… such a blessing.  Without his help, I would have needed to load my car with all of it, and it was a lot, and it would have surely left a huge dusty, leafy, bird poop, spidery mess in the car.  I’m so grateful we didn’t need to do that!  What a blessing! 
 
Just some of the uplifting and encouraging comments that I received after I shared this story on my Facebook page and some of my responses
D - I love the way you write, I am glad you had a beautiful experience with your dad
E - I love that story. What small shift in consciousness and everything changes.
Panayiota
Yes... so true, and that's why I choose to share so deeply, because if we can reach our clients and anyone who we come in contact with, in the same way, what a healing we could bring. In my case, recognising that I function from different levels, and being able to reach a particular level of affliction and help on that level alone... in other words, it's no use trying to reason with my adult self... nothing can be achieved there when it is the inner-child self that is struggling. So, to understand the level of the inner child and to have the empathy, skill and understanding to reach her... WOW! It's an incredible healing thing to experience as the person receiving that... too amazing for words!  Healing is possible where there is this kind of understanding and love for our fellow human beings.
E - Yes, our mentor has that ability to see that. To see exactly what the soul needs to hear and direct the right words to the part of us that needs that healing. At that level miracles can happen. Beautiful and thank you for sharing!! I’m inspired 💚
Panayiota
Oh yes dear E... "Miracles" is the only way to describe it and it's something so beautiful to experience.
M - Your writing draws me in! 💙 Thank you for sharing your experiences with us xx So glad you got to see your dad xx
V - How lovely to read this. So happy it all worked out. I knew it would make your dad's day too 💖
Panayiota
It sure did make his day V... made my day too :) I love you 💖
B - This is so beautiful, you have been in my thoughts and prayers
M - ♥️♥️♥️ Oh, happy happy days! 😁🤸‍♀️♥️
One of the most marvellous things that I think about when I think of our mentor is that logotherapy speaks so much to that bible scripture that says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue”. Words are so powerful, and we should all carefully consider how we use them. Encouragement should be the main goal of their use 🌸
I - So happy for you Panny! You deserve love and happiness always. Big hugs.
 
18Apr19
More Green Balloons

Here's something lovely I wanted to share all week but was ill at the start of the week and got too busy since.
 
On Sunday, I shared with you about the green balloon I saw attached to the palm frond, as I was leaving to visit my dad on Saturday. Well, on the same day I'd written about it, my Greek sister in law, Irene had read about it on my FB page, and she was surprised by what she saw outside of her yard and wrote a most beautiful WhatsApp to me about it which she has given me permission to share here.
 
Irene wrote, and added the picture above
"In our neighbourhood today... outside our fencing 💚 Please always know... you are... you have always been... you always will be... loved, welcome, be family, appreciated, never doubted, you are Greek and we are one. No need to feel uncomfortable for any reason... you are our sister. Just thought these green balloons are symbolic to your FB post about the balloon xxxx Always remember, we love you forever"
 
I was at a Logotherapy student's supervision meeting (during our tea break) when I saw Irene's msg. on my phone and smiled so big that the students wanted to know what was going on. I just told them, it was the most beautiful response to something I'd been struggling with recently. It truly is beautiful to my heart.
 
What is it about my sister-in-laws and their love?
 
Irene has always been there for everyone... she's the first to visit when a family member is in hospital... she an ardent supporter of our Family WhatsApp group... she's just always there for others and I've never doubted her love as a result.
 
I just felt it was incredible, that there were two green balloons outside her yard on the same day I wrote about my green balloon... I don't believe in coincidences and I DO believe in signs given to guide our lives. I responded to her:
 
"... there is no doubt in my heart that the green balloons are a message of love and unity for our family. So very special..."
 
And Irene responded: "... Family is everything xxxx"
 
And of course, I agreed :) 💖
 
On the very same day, this beautifully story below, about a little “cast out” bee (because she was different-faulty-not good enough for the hive), was posted by Lezzet Abbott on a Facebook Bug page that I absolutely love:  I responded to Lezzet’s post:   
 
“Oh Lezzet... how absolutely beautiful to my soul. Just through my own experience as an adult survivor of severe child abuse, I identified so deeply with this, because sometimes I feel just like the little bee rejected... and so often a nurturing and understanding hand reaches out and makes so much difference. Without such empathy and love reaching me, I would definitely not be here today. Thank you so much. May I use this on my blog and quote you please... it's just so beautiful and will illustrate so well my most recent struggle and what a life-giving difference that one person's acknowledgment, warmth and love can make. Thank you so much p.s. I cried... but because of the beautiful love in your heart that I felt reading this... 💖
 
Lezzet Abbott’s touching story below (used with permission - Thank you so much Lezzet)
 
 
Sometimes life ends before it even has the chance to begin

​I occasionally wonder to myself whether I have the nerve at all to be a hobbyist beekeeper. Today it felt like something grabbed my heart from the inside and pushed it out of my chest with the force of Thor's hammer. Sitting alongside my hive this afternoon, marveling, observing with my camera and sometimes stopping just to fully take the miracle in, I was privy to something I never thought I’d see and something I was hardly expecting to feel. Tears flowed freely down my hot cheeks as I watched the dutiful actions of an Undertaker Bee remove an underdeveloped and malformed baby who was still alive out of the hive and drop it to the ground. I was shell-shocked from a place in my being that I had difficulty making friends with which made it so tremendously hard to watch and much tougher to photograph. The photographs are not runners up in National Geographic, not even close because the moment unfolded quite unexpectedly and the closer I tried to get to the evictee and her sister initiating the marching orders, the more I felt the bees warning me to stay away as they bumped their fat little black and yellow bodies into my head.
 
I picked this little lady up after she had been unceremoniously discarded of on the cold stones by her sibling beneath the hive and my heart collapsed into an aching mess of so much owie that the salty pools caught above my bottom eyelids made it difficult to initially see why she was evicted from the hive. She was still moving her pale little body as her legs tried to reach into the air for something that wasn’t there. She only had one antenna and one shriveled up wing and was without the characteristic stripes of a striking honey bee. Milky in hue she was abandoned and left for dead because she would never be the bee she was intended to be.
 
It broke me as I watched her peddling her six tiny legs as her head and one little antenna moved in motions that had me feeling she was calling for mercy. I could not do it. I could not take her life so instead I took her photo so that others may see and feel the story of the little white bee who never got to be. I stayed with her until her legs stopped. I held her in the landscape of my warm palm and let myself feel all my pitiful human emotions and forgave myself for feeling so stupid about something that likely happens hourly, daily, monthly and annually in all bee hives. I forgave myself for feeling so sorry for a creature who I decided was unfairly treated; rejected because she was different, damaged and useless to the hive if she had been given the privilege to reach maturity. I forgave myself for knowing that it was not for me to decide what’s fair in a hive, having to trust that the daughters of Mother Nature know best, for the good of the bigger picture; there is no space in a community of honey makers for those that will slow the process down. I forgave myself for putting myself through the experience after my husband asked me several times, “Why do you punish yourself this way?” I failed to see it as punishment but rather compassion and empathy for a little life, despite how short, teaching me something far greater than most humans ever will. And then I forgave myself for having the deep sensitivity my DNA decided I needed to feel absolutely helpless as waterfalls gushed from my eyes while the little bee took her last few breaths in a rose petal I gently placed her in for those last precious moments of life that she was given.
 
I often wonder to myself whether I have the nerve at all to be a hobbyist beekeeper, but I do know that as an intensely emotional spectator to the activities of my diminutive flower angels as each day passes, I have no control over things I did not create and in these instances, even if with gushing waterworks cascading from my cheeks, even if I’m thought by most to be out of my cotton-picking mind, there are moments like these where I must learn to willingly let things be.
Lezzet Abbott
 
Thank you for sharing with me today 
 
~ Panayiota