FOREVER LOVING FRIENDS

This says it all for me...

Oh how I long for, and thrive in this kind of love which is so rare, yet so healing, strengthening, wonderfully life-giving and life-sustaining whenever it is given freely to me, and without question.

For an adult survivor of child abuse, this kind of love replaces what was missed out on during childhood. It's the only kind of love that seems to matter at all... the kind of love that CANNOT be pushed out or chased away.

The kind of love where nothing I seem to do or say in my moments of craziness and/or weakness or even SPEAKING MY TRUTH OUT AUTHENTICALLY, or when setting boundaries (often to protect not only myself, but my friendship with another), can chase the other person's love away from me... they seem to understand regardless and are always there... THEY STAY... THEY STICK... THEY ENDURE STEADFASTLY.

FAITHFUL FRIENDS... ANGELS IN DISGUISE.

I have always had such healing angels in my life and just want to say a truly sincere and humble... THANK YOU to them.

The ones who GO AWAY... or whom I succeed in pushing away, always leave behind a HUGE HOLE IN MY SOUL.

Once I have loved... my LOVE ALWAYS REMAINS... so even when the one I loved so much stops loving me or turns their back... regardless of if it was my fault or theirs, I am still left FOREVER HURTING WITHOUT THEM and wishing for it to be the way it was before it all went so horribly wrong.

It is what it is... and I have learned somehow, to just keep going on regardless of the constant reminders of what either was and wasn't when I was a child and so often still is... or what could have been and now is...

MY SEEMINGLY ETERNALLY CONFLICTING REALITY.

Thank you for sharing with me.

~ Panayiota