I GET LOST SOMETIMES…

~ Posted, 17th August 2017 ~
 
Friday, 11th August 2017
So, I went off to the shops around lunch time to get the stuff I need for the cone clowns I am making for my fourth granddaughters birthday party tomorrow.
 
The final result below – The cone clowns I made for my fourth granddaughter’s 7th birthday party on Saturday 12th August.  I was grateful for my sister’s helpers assistance during the late afternoon to get these done.  Esnath helped to clean up before she left and I continued on untill about 10pm finishing these… they’re a lot of work. 

My granddaughter’s actual birthday was on Sunday 13th.  She was born on the same day my youngest son had his big lung operation in 2010… same time he was being operated on!  I think I’ve been stuck on remembering it as 2011… but it all happened in 2010 as I have been reminded by my daughter in law.  I’ve never been good with dates…
 
Getting lost…
As I’ve mentioned many times I’m sure, leaving my house is stressful enough, even WITHOUT GETTING LOST! 
 
Man... my mind is so vague just lately as a result of the ‘hard drive crash’ on the 25th June and all the blows that have kept coming one after the other ever since!  I think the vagueness is a kind of reaction to stress overload... I just can't put things in order in my mind!  It’s a bit like having something you want to say on the tip of your tongue, but you just can’t get it together to say it.  I call this that I struggle with, mind blindness, but it’s probably got another name!  Even going to the shop to buy the stuff I needed for the cone clowns… a shop that we visit often, I was already struggling to remember which direction to go in or what street to take to get to it, but I did find it without too much trouble.  Leaving the shop though, I turned left instead of right and for the next half an hour, I was searching for something familiar that would give me an idea of how to get to the other shop I needed to get to, or at least to get home again! 
 
It was ridiculous.  I kept feeling that I recognized a road I was on, but couldn’t quite grasp or connect to its’ reality… hard to explain!  I nearly stopped a few times to call my close-by sister to tell her I’m lost… she would have laughed!  Well, now I’m back home, but the stress of the whole outing is still haunting me… I just want to sleep again!  But too much work to do.  Still trying to piece together all the lost work information so that I can get back on track… I just want this nightmare to be over with as quickly as possible!
 
No time to even think about my own lost works yet… at one stage, I actually felt resentful about that… but at the same time, my call to responsibility towards my work and all who rely on me to keep the Institute going, is so strong.  All the bits and pieces of my stuff is backed up and saved… I will get to it when time eventually allows… I hope soon.
 
Strangely, this video popped up on WhatsApp… sent by a dear friend.  It was a very much shorter version which I enjoyed greatly but was unable to find to share, so sharing this much longer version, but with the same message. 
 
The impact for me… “Never Ever Live Somebody Else’s Dream”.  That’s what I feel I am doing right now… because I can’t find time to get to my own dreams anymore… they always seem to be on hold.
 
Dr Shah Rukh Khan - Life Lessons
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnnXAiTOLbo&t=914s
 
Thank you for sharing with me today.
~ Panayiota