Just Shut Up!

Still struggling due to the Zoom fiasco, I experienced another connected upset yesterday that revealed my current status within the group!  It threw me for a loop... reminded me of how often I find myself in that very same place in life... that nothing ever really changes... the good times... the good friendships... the love... etc. may as well be illusions that I keep fooling myself with. 

My mind was on fire by the time I went to bed... all sadness turned to deep anger... I could not sleep.  Just  before 11pm, I got up and wrote the following.  I knew I would not be able to sleep before getting everything out in writing... I took 1/4 sleeping pill and thankfully got a good night's sleep after all.

Just Shut Up!

© All rights reserved ~ www.pattyskeys.co.za
 
Don’t say a word
Keep quiet – stay down
Don’t cry more tears
Don’t show your frown
 
Shut up – stay still
Work hard – don’t stop
Don’t share what you want to
Lock your truths up
 
Let them judge you
Mother STILL wins
Pointing fingers will say
You’re the one who has sinned
 
Let them listen to those
Who cause anguish and loss
Let them be fooled
By the ones playing BOSS
 
Let them believe them
Your truths can’t be heard
They never could
So, don’t say a word
 
Nothing changes
It’s always the same
No matter your truths
You’re always to blame
 
Let them gossip
Your weaknesses – their cloak
To hide their own faults
Leaving you as their joke
 
There’s no ways they will admit
The things they have done
While they steal away your best friends
And block out trust’s sun
 
Let them take away
The ones that you love
Let them have it all
THERE’S TRUE LIGHT STILL ABOVE
 
Get back into your wall
Brick in all the holes
Protect yourself
From the world’s ugly trolls
 
Just let them win
You keep climbing high
One day they will KNOW
When they too reach the sky
 
Don’t get too close
SHUT UP – STAND BACK
Don’t say a word
It’s their hearing – they lack
 
It is what it is
It has always been so
Just seal your mouth up
And let them all go
 
Let them destroy your reputation
With their heartless games
Their clever BIG words
And POMPOUS names
 
Beaten once more
Totally alone
Exposed and naked
Stripped to the bone
 
Don’t say what you want to
Your voice is absurd
Your words twisted and trampled
By the gathering heard
 
You don’t stand a chance
Like so often before
Mother still twists her knife
Deep into your core
 
Alone you must stand
Alone you must fight
Shut out their darkness
Keep reaching for light
 
Sadness still overwhelms
As so often before
Don’t allow it to take hold
Life just keeps sending more
 
Shut up!
Stay down
Don’t say a word
You’re never-ever going to be heard
 
Heaven will reveal
Your truths some day
It will be interesting then
To hear what they say
 
Let them all go
SHUT UP!
 
~ Patricia!
(12Aug20)

I love this WhatsApp conversation I had this morning with one of our students, it reminded me of the following quote... 

“An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behaviour” (Frankl, 2006, p. 20) ~ Man's Search for Meaning  

Nonku
Good day Pan!!  Trust you are  keeping well under these terrible times.  I wanted to ask... at what age can we start teaching children the meaning of life.  Or rather, from what age can they start discovering their meaning to  life.  Thanking you!!!

Panayiota
As soon as a child understands anything... so even from before they are born... they hear calm sounds... their parent's gentle voices... a loving heartbeat whilst in the hug of their mother's womb... Their understanding of meaning then, is already, a sense of, "I am safe and secure, I am loved and I am wanted." As they grow older, everything new, that is good, beautiful, right, healing and true brings them a sense of meaning... like, having a pet to love... take responsibility for... learning to be kind... to serve... to love.  Through all the goodness they are encouraged to give to life, through all the goodness they receive from life... gratitude... noticing and recognising blessings... delighting in the little things... an ant carrying its enormous meal... a beautiful butterfly... the colour and smell of a flower... being held in their mother and father's loving arms... gentle words... regular reassurance... I'm okay - you're okay... my world is a safe place to be... carefree and loved.

Nonku
Wow!!! Thank you so much Pan... I'm working with vulnerable children (orphans, abused, etc.) who are very hopeless because love is an illusion to them.  

Panayiota
Know, that LOVE is the only way to heal them.  See them as "bottomless pits"... no matter how much love and reassurance you give to them, it might never be enough  (because they will still always be longing for what should have been at the original source of their aching-loss and all that was missing from their lives)... so, our work is to just keep on giving more and more genuine and consistent loving reassurance, and hope that one day they might believe, trust and know true love is not an illusion, or a dream to long for, that  might someday magically happen... but rather, a reality that exists and is worth reaching out for and never giving up on... I wish you much enduring strength and love on behalf of those little ones entrusted to your loving care.  God bless you and those dear little children.

Nonku
You are too kind... thank you so much!!  Please take care of yourself.  


Thank you for sharing with me today

~ Panayiota