LOCKDOWN DIARY ~ Day 16 & 17

A beautiful sunset photo my son took from our front doorstep recently ~ so, even on lockdown, if we take the time to look for the beauty around us, we will surely find it and be enriched by it.
 
“Experiential values are blessings we receive from life.  Experiential values are manifested in what is good, beautiful and true. We open up to what is good, beautiful and genuine.  These things (values) call forth our appreciation; they involve us in a committed way.  The greatest experiential value, however, is love.  Love brings us in vital touch with ourselves and with others whom we experience in all their uniqueness and specialness.  Love can fill us with limitless devotion and arouse feelings of deep caring and responsibility.” (Shantall, 2003, p. 40) ~The Quest for Destiny
 
11 April
LOCKDOWN ~ DAY 16
 
We had a robbery in our town house complex the night before last (Someone choose to take advantage of lockdown) Two hours of video on the crook wondering around the complex between 2am and 4am and in the end, he broke a neighbours window and stole a laptop and also broke into a car and stole a pair of prescription sunglasses. The video took a good shot of his face, but I can't imagine the police helping to find him... I've lost faith in the police... last time I tried to phone the emergency number, all I got was... EEEEH... and when I asked if it was the police, they responded with a very bored sounding... YEEES... like I'd woken them up... and I could get nothing intelligent out of the woman for the emergency I was hoping to get help for... it was a hopeless waste of time!

12 April
LOCKDOWN DAY 17 – Easter
I tried so hard to catch up on blog posts today, but so many interruptions due to Easter weekend messages. I felt a little teary am, being so far away from family and remembering earlier years when my sister and I did tons of baking together for Greek Easter which is next weekend, and now we can't due to this lockdown. My family sent me pictures of my grandchildren though and my son in Cape Town called and I got to speak to them... They are all so happy and I'm very grateful for that. I've never heard them sounding so happy and carefree as they are now living with their dad, in a house he bought specially to fit them all in so that they could all be comfortable with lots of house and garden space to move.
 
A dear long-lost friend I hadn't heard from in years called me just now also. She's also going through a divorce from an abuser and said all she could think of during this difficult time in her life, was me... how sweet is that... it was so good to talk to her again after a good few years of absence.  I’m glad she still had my phone number.
 
One of my longstanding Logotherapy student-friends has been keeping regular contact with me during Lockdown which is so kind of him.  We had an interesting WhatsApp conversation today, which he agreed I could share parts of.
 
Gavin
… the only way we can get through this, the only way we can get to the other side, and survive, and keep going, hopefully with meaning, is through connection.  Maybe this will bring us to that Centre Dr Kanda wants to open.
 
(Dr Kanda and others of us have often dreamed about a Logotherapy Centre we’d love to have for Logotherapy to operate from… and to do workshops and all sorts to motivate Logotherapy in South Africa, but also for student training purposes… funding is the only thing that is keeping us from doing this)
 
Panayiota
So true dear Gavin… I feel myself disconnecting more and more over time… even from before this lockdown.  I can’t allow it.  Friends like you and my Facebook friends and family group, and a few others, make all the difference… thank you… you are a true blessing and friend forever.
 
Gavin
Don’t let go.
 
Panayiota
I won’t… I just find that I can’t mess friendships and things up if I stay apart more… it’s safer and more peaceful to be alone when you’re me… sucks to be me… LOL! 
 
Gavin
You are the heart of the Logotherapy Centre.  You being a heart, might decide that life sucks because all you do is pump, pump, pump… everyone doesn’t see that and in pumping so much, it is easy not to notice you.  You might think, “I think I’ll take a break from all of this pumping, nobody needs me anyway, I’m invisible…” That might seem to be logical… take a break and stop pumping… But, if you don’t recognise your value here, the whole Centre will die, so will you… so, it is a big and lonely job to be the Heart of The Centre… Big and lonely heart, don’t stop… pumping…
 
I felt so much gratitude and love when I read Gavin’s beautifully caring, uplifting and strengthening message that it actually brought tears to my eyes as I thanked him.
 
Panayiota
The people who prove to stick with me regardless of anything I do, are my greatest strength for LIFE and real treasures… they are very far and few between, but some have never given up on me no matter what.  I tend to push people away and sabotage relationships that get too close… and I don’t shut up if I perceive WRONG… but, some friends have stuck like glue… and as a result, I feel the reassurance I need from them… that they are here to stay… everything/everyone else I ever loved eventually went away, gave up on me, or died… Hey, but this is negative talk… I’m trying to catch up on blog posts today… I’m way behind.  Thank you for still being there/here… it means a whole lot.
 
(I didn’t share the following with Gavin, but felt to include them here, just to add more of my reality to this blog post)

​To Gavin, and all those who have stuck it out with me, you have no idea what a difference you make… THANK YOU SO MUCH!  I LOVE and APPRECIATE YOU in my life ♥

~ Panayiota