SCRIPT MESSAGE SETBACKS MUST BE BEATEN!

~ Posted 25th May 2017 ~
 
I could really do without “Script message setbacks” in my life! 
 
This last week has been a week filled with nightmares once again… the kind that I wake up from, with my heart pounding so bad, I actually fear I’m about to have a heart attack!  I can only remember parts of two of the nightmares though. 
 
The first nightmare that I remember, was one where my youngest son is swimming in some natural pool with a small waterfall on one side.  There are people and children having fun all around him, and I’m standing on the edge, just observing the scene, when I suddenly notice a body floating face down on the surface next to my son.  I am feeling panicked and suffocated, as if I am drowning.  I alert my son and as he turns toward the body, it begins to sink rapidly into the muddy waters.  He tries to catch it, in the hopes that we can save the person, but they’re gone.  He dives under and he is under there for a long time which makes me feel even more panicked and as if I am the one drowning.  I call out to the people around for help, but everyone ignores me and carries on having their fun.  Eventually my son surfaces empty handed.
 
The second nightmare which I had last night, I can remember very little of.  I’m with my daughter, and there’s a really large, black, vicious dog following us.  It is definitely only interested in me and stays close.  All the time, it’s teeth are showing as it growls… its’ eyes glaring menacingly at me.  I am so afraid of it and know that it’s out to get me, but there seems to be nothing I can do to stop it from following me.  My daughter and I try to stop it, and as we walk into a really large barn, she stays back and tries to shut the big barn door on the dog, but it is very strong and pushes the door open.  There is nothing we can do to stop it… it looks as though it is just waiting for the right time to pounce and rip me apart! 
 
It seems that when the script messages from my past surface, their impact on my psyche is so powerful, that they seem to smother the realities of my present so much so, that I literally do feel as though I am drowning, or in danger of being attacked by some monstrous creature from my past, and that I am also very alone in my struggles.  That even if I did cry out, or reach out for help, nobody would be able to see or hear me in order to help me… and who could really understand what I am going through anyway.
 
The invisibility spell that was once cast on me during my childhood, is once again cast, pushing me into those dark spaces of my mind, where I used to run… and run… and run… in my desperate attempt to escape and hide from the monsters that were always trying to destroy me… my abusers.
 
A week ago, I attended the memorial service of the young man who had passed away at the tender age of 16, as a result of cancer.  It was such an emotional and yet beautiful service.  Seeing all his school friends there doing the guard of honour as his coffin was brought into the chapel and again when it was taken out… hearing the school Scottish pipe band playing their bagpipes so beautifully in honour of him, was so emotional for me… it took all my strength, for the sake of his family and friends, not to cry my way through the entire service.  There was an “open mike” session that was also deeply touching for me to witness.  The pain of loss for those who knew him best was very evident and at the same time, the words of love and appreciation for who he was to each person who spoke, was lovely to share in.
 
The memorial service was held at the church I used to be a part of before I moved to my new area.  A place where I never felt that I truly belonged.  Sitting just a few rows in front of me, was one of my dearest friends… one who I lost at the time when my therapist caused me so much turmoil with her religious pushing thing.  One of my study trainers at the time had spoken to my therapist behind my back, and when I found that out, I felt completely devastated beyond imagination… totally betrayed by life once again… but that person very soon helped me to heal and made up for all that happened back then and our relationship was long ago healed and has become something very beautiful today.  But, while I sat in that service with my lost-friend sitting so close, my heart was crying out to my Father in Heaven, for our relationship to be mended somehow that day… but it wasn’t to be, because soon after the service, she disappeared and was gone once more, leaving me with a sense of hopelessness that our once cherished relationship could ever be mended.  I, myself, had pushed her away those many years ago, because she too was suddenly spending time with my therapist and by then all trust had been broken in me.  I regret her loss as my friend greatly and must now live with the consequences of my own actions.
 
After the service my youngest son and I stayed a while and were greeted so lovingly by many of the church members we used to know there before.  There were lots of hugs and smiles and it was great to see them again.  At one stage, we had quite a number of people standing around us just chatting and catching up together on our lives.  But there were also those that day who greeted us coldly… very few… but enough…
 
What amazes me, is how easily so few judges were able to trigger in me, the script messages of my past so powerfully, causing me to withdraw for days since, once again, into that place I don’t want to be in anymore!  That awful, “Terrible Dream” place that I will speak more about in my book which I pray I will have time to finish and get published soon.
 
And so, the nightmares, and the real sense of “not belonging” in this world and needing to escape that perceived place of “DANGER” (which originated in my past), is once more with me…
 
I must find a way to surface from the muddy waters… I must find a way to beat off the large, vicious dog that wants to consume me yet again…
 
I believe that both nightmares that I could remember this week, represent the struggling state of my mind at this time and how hopeless my situation feels yet again.
 
Through Logotherapy dream interpretation, the precious healing or meaning-messages I can glean from both dreams are:
 

• I am not alone… one or other of my children (representing all those who do love and care about me) are with me in both dreams, and therefore the message to me, is that it is so very important for me to focus on the fact that I am indeed not alone during such setback times as this, and I never have been alone, no matter how alone I’ve ever felt. There are more who love me than those who don’t.
• In the drowning dream, I am standing on the bank… I am not actually sinking or drowning… I am still dry and still alive… so that to me is yet another meaning message I received from that dream, also indicating to me, that I must find a way to distance myself from the drowning, soffocating effects of the abuse that was inflicted on me when I was a child.
• In the dream with the vicious dog, I am not running away… but I am still moving forward, even though the dog is walking with me and threatening me.So, the meaning message I received from that is that I must keep moving forward, regardless of whatever triggers and threats rise up from my past, still today in my present. This dream reminds me that the threats from my past might always be there for me and that it is a fact of life, but that I cannot allow my past to keep taking away from my present.

 
I LOVE LOGOTHRAPY DREAM INTERPETATIONS!  They are to me, a beautiful way to receive personal revelations that come to us from our conscious and spiritual dimensions, to help us make sense of and find answers to even the worst of our nightmares, through the meaning-messages given to us to help guide and direct our lives.
 
My focus should not be on those few people who did not greet us warmly, or the dear friend who I could not reunite with, but rather on the lovely friends who were happy to see us there at that precious young man’s beautiful memorial service and the joyful greeting and the love we did receive from those who came to talk with us and hugged us with genuine care. 
 
My mind-healing work is to continuously find ways to stop the script messages from my past from interfering with my present and to take back my power from my abusers… that every time they seem to win at stripping me of my power in my present, I must be able to stand up to them and shout out from that dark place of withdrawal where I keep finding myself trapped again…
 
ENOUGH!  ENOUGH!  ENOUGH!   
 
I will prevail… I will succeed!   They already lost the day they abused the little girl I once was… I can never let them succeed at winning over the life that was always meant to be mine! 
 
I will find a way to erase all the ugly and negative script messages that were engraved on Patty’s soul by her abusers!
 
I am here to protect Patty now… I am here to tell her that she is good enough and worthy enough… I am here to teach her how to laugh and play again… I will show her how to STOP the abusers from their vicious snarling attacks and piercing, threatening stares… I will teach her how to breath in and enjoy the freshness of her true life… the life she was always meant to know and live… her true purpose… her true reason for being and the unique meaning of her life…
 
We are not alone and never have been and never will be…
 
Thank you for sharing with me today…
 
~ Panayiota(If you have a nightmare you would like to understand better, you may contact me and I will do my best to help you find your answer/s to it for a reasonable donation fee)