The Power of Unconditional LOVE

~ Posted 2nd October 2017 ~ 

​It's so damaging when people only seem to see your sadness, anger, brokenness, behavioural issues, etc. as "negativity" and so, shun, reject and avoid you as a result... when all you really need is the reassurance of their love...
 
For some people, reassurance needs to be in constant supply…
 
Our reassurance is not always going to still be effective for them in the “doldrums of tomorrow”… sometimes it needs to be renewed and re-sent regularly, even into those dark places where the hurting person’s mind sometimes wonders or where they might find themselves slipping back into, or trapped repeatedly throughout their lives…
 
This is especially true for adult survivors of child abuse...
 
Script messages from our past as a result of child abuse, are still very present, powerful, destructive and loud, even in our adulthood…
 
This is why an adult survivor of child abuse cannot “just get over it”!
 
It doesn’t work like that at all!  With the inner child with all his/her original emotional struggles, nightmares, fears, etc., still existing within the adult-self, it is impossible to just get over anything that was once burned into the existence of the child’s fragile mind through abuse and etched painfully onto their heart by a cruel and sharp-slicing tongue that should have instead been speaking only love, acceptance, kindness, understanding, etc. 
 
I once wrote:
 
A MOTHER’S HANDS
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A Mother’s hands to nurture,
A Mother’s hands to love,
A Mother’s hands reflect,
The Spirit of His Love.
 
A Mother’s hands to gently rock,
Her baby in her arms,
And wipe away all tears,
With gentle, loving charms.
 
A Mother’s hands work hard,
To keep the home quite clean,
And there should be comfort and cheer,
Where a Mother’s hands have been.
 
But a Mother’s hands should never hurt
A child from God above,
For a Mother’s hands are only there
To create a world of love.
 
~ Panayiota
(12th March 2000)
 
The struggle for an adult survivor of child abuse in this world is NEVER over… it cannot just STOP… it’s a part of their reality and their lifelong struggle…
 
But as an adult, I for instance, am learning how to “recognise and nurture” the needs of my wounded inner child and what helps to comfort her (myself)… to reassure her… how to console… what is needed…
 
I realise that I cannot hope that everyone (or anyone for that matter) will truly understand or love me enough to help “fix me” … that it is now MY responsibility as an adult, for taking action to help myself (which includes taking positive action to help my inner child) on my unique road to healing… in fact, it has become MORE my responsibility than anyone else’s as I’ve grown older and wiser in understanding so much better how I tic as a result of the child abuse inflicted on me, and the whys and wherefores of it all…
 
Unless you have walked in my shoes, I cannot expect you to do this vitally important growth and healing work for me… but I do hope you will not forsake me on my healing quest… I NEED YOU.
 
I want to continue to experience the reassurance of your ever-present love for me… even in the darkest places I often find myself tripping and fumbling through.  Your love, just like my God’s Love, is like an ever-present light shining in the distance… a beacon of hope and strength that helps me to believe in the way forward… to keep strong in my faith in something bigger and something better… worthy of my every effort against the storms and monsters of my past, and so I don’t have to feel so lost and alone in those dark places that still exist from my past…
 
Your love, just like God’s Love, is the ever-embracing warm and comforting arms that surround, reassure and give me a much needed will to live, to do all I was meant to do, to become all I was meant to be… the reason for my existence.
 
It really does help to have the gift of feeling and being okay in this world, warts and all, and thus, having an ever-present sense of reassurance of belonging. 
 
Because of someone’s unconditional LOVE and unconditional ACCEPTANCE, (which may be an "ONGOING NEED”) ... it is nevertheless so important and is a powerful force in strengthening, uplifting and helping on the healing journey of the sometimes seemingly forever-hurting person to help them to be able to keep on moving forward.  <3 <3 <3

I once wrote for someone very dear to my heart:
 
ONLY LOVE CAN LIFT THE CURSE!
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He doesn’t want people to know him,
For he no longer knows himself,
He doesn’t want people to feel for him,
Because he no longer feels much for himself!
 
He doesn’t want people to celebrate for him,
For he celebrates not for himself,
He doesn’t want people to love him,
For he doesn’t love himself!
 
Don’t live for him; don’t die for him,
Don’t even exist for his life,
For he’s no longer living or dead,
And he doesn’t exist for himself!
 
He denies that he has a problem,
Yet he struggles in a lonely place,
Where he’s tried to rub out his own feelings,
And has even erased his own face!
 
Don’t hate him for who he’s becoming,
You will only make things so much worse!
Love him regardless, I beg of you,
For Only Love can lift the curse!
 
~ Panayiota
(8th July 2000)
 
I realise that I might share the same poem more than once in my blog writings, but not only do I not remember all that I’ve posted before, and have lost my computer records in the hard drive crash, but I also don’t have time to look back through every blog post now.  I also feel that a certain message I am sharing is important enough to me to share again. 

I am so grateful for the rare and the beautiful who provide through their compassionate, faithful, patient, consistent reassurance and unconditional love for me, the most needed foundation and steps I require for my ever-upward climb... Thank you with all my heart.

~ Panayiota