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The Healing Power of Logotherapy

"Reaching for the Stars"
Adult survivor of severe child abuse/rape survivor/domestic violence/
emotional abuse/transference in therapy/depression, fear, panic attacks & anxiety... /self-injury (SI)/complex relational trauma/severe PTSD & multiple complex PTSD (SPTSD & MCPTSD)/dissociative identity disorder (DID)​

Sweetpea's postoperative recovery

23/2/2021

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Hi there, I said I'd update you on Sweetpea by the end of last week, but things got so hectic around here that I just couldn’t keep up, so will share now how things went for her after her operation for spaying a week ago on Tuesday 16th February.
 
17Feb21 ~ The day after her spaying operation
Sweetpea is doing so much better today after a good night's sleep.  She is still hiding in her special safe corner where she likes to go when she's not 100% ... nobody can bother her and there's no threat that we might step on her there, so she can rest more peacefully there.
 
Today she's eating and drinking, up and about when she has to go out, she lay in the sun a bit, has wagged her tail a whole lot, barked at a noise outside and even got a bit of her playful glint back in her eyes.
 
She's still very sore, but so much better than yesterday! ❤ ❤ ❤ I'm giving her space for healing 🙂
 
19Feb21 ~ Third day post-op
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​Photo:  Sweetpea feeling miserable on a chair next to me with nurse Trixie watching over her ❤
 
Sweetpea has been doing so very well... playing a little, walking all over the place yesterday, wagging her tail, barking and just looking so good, but today she seems very quiet and a lot sorer.
 
This morning I saw her heaving and think she may have eaten some grass and maybe that pulled on her stitches. I am watching her closely, but she's definitely not happy. I hope she feels better later after a good sleep.
 
She even let me sweep the floor today and didn't move from her spot to try grab the broom out of my hands, so she's definitely not feeling happy... keeps licking her wound and we have to distract her from pulling on her stitches.
 
EEEK! Yesterday she was so much happier.  I'm struggling to concentrate today because I'm worrying so much about her.  Maybe the sutures are meant to sting a bit more by today... I don't know!
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Photo:  Sweetpea was back to sleeping in her safe corner for most of today
 
I must tell you something wonderful!  The day before yesterday we picked up the itemized bill from the Vet: It's a whopping R3914.60 ... the same day, someone I barely know had kindly donated R500 into my personal account, so I knew that bill would be quite a bit less once I pay in that R500. 
 
I actually thought the bill was going to be around R5000 for all the Veterinary procedures the two dogs had done so I was actually pleasantly surprised at the lower bill.
 
Anyway, I look at the bill and realise that they have not included the 10 pain tablets we received for Trixie... for standby for those days she's hurting, so the bill should have been be higher.  I immediately called to let them know, because the way I see it, if I am asking for donations and then cheat the Vet, I would not deserve any donations at all to help with the bill. 
 
So the next day my son went to fetch the new bill with the cost of the pills included... and the new bill is now R3729.60  🙏
 
Someone must have made a donation into the Vet's account overnight!  Can you believe it.  What a blessing ❤
 
Oh, how I love Karma ❤
 
So, all we have left to pay is just over R3000.  I'm so grateful that my dogs have been taken good care of and have had all the necessary procedures.  The amount left to pay is well worth it. 
 
Of course, Sweetpea still has to go for a 2nd round of vaccinations next month and I think they said the month after too because these are her first vaccinations!  So, there's still a whole bunch to pay, but she will be protected from diseases and in the end, that's all that matters.
 
She's still quiet tonight and sore, but her breathing is good and her wound is a little swollen and red… not much worse than yesterday, so I'm not suspecting any infections.  She's just sorer today ❤ She had her last pain tablet tonight. 
 
FYI:  If you want to know how to feed a dog a tablet, wrap it well in their favourite treat... like inside a bit of chicken or mince.  Have another two small balls of treat ready.  Put the pill wrapped one in their mouth first and then quickly offer the next.  They want the next so quick they swallow the first to grab the 2nd... too funny!  They don't even know they took the pill.  It helps to have another pet nearby, so they gobble it quickly so the other pet can't get it... heeheee!  Sneaky hey? 😅
 
20Feb21 ~ Fourth day post-op
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I woke up at 02h30 - I could see that Sweetpea is very uncomfortable, so I put Trixie in my bed which she loves and took my pillow to Trixie's bed on the floor next to Sweetpea's, so I could lie next to her. I think that made her feel more relaxed and comfortable.  I love my fur-babies so much! ❤
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​When I woke, Sweetpea was lying in an awkward position… I knew she was hurting!
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Sweetpea’s wound is bulging and inflamed with the sutures pulling into her wound causing her a lot of pain.
 
I only had about 4 1/2 hours sleep.  Sweetpea was in so much pain that she would not get up as she usual did to go outside, so that worried me a lot and there was no way I could sleep knowing she was suffering alone in her little safe corner.
 
By 5am, I was already bathed and getting ready to take her to the Vet to be there as soon as it opened at 08h30. 
 
When I came out of the shower, there she was in the passage, up and about, wagging her tail with joy at seeing me!  She must have gone outside on her own as I'd left the back door open for her... just in case.  She didn't look too bad at all once she was up... but still, I was taking no chances.  Her wound looked too painful and she couldn't stop licking it. 
 
In 2019, I swore I was never going to get another dog after losing Mrs Poppy Peanut, my beloved little old black Dachshund who had to be put down due to a serious illness.  That pain for me was TOO MUCH!!!  But, here I am again, with two more lovely dogs (best friends) that I absolutely adore.  Both girls are rescues who had been gifted to me and what a blessing they are.
 
My reasoning for taking them to the Vet for costly treatments is that these might be my last dogs EVER as I’m 64 years old already, and so, they will get the best I can give them, even if I have to beg for help which I hate doing... but I WILL DO IT... for them ❤ ❤ ❤
 
Note:  There might be another donation to help with this bill, but that has not been confirmed yet ❤
 
I woke a tad weepy am... lack of sleep and worry... but also immense gratitude for love and also for the help already received.  I will feel much better after visiting the Vet and knowing something has been done to help Sweetpea feel better ❤
 
21 February 21 ~ Fifth day post-op
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​One day of antibiotic and pain pills and Sweetpea's wound is so much better! 

She's hardly licking at all today and her playful, mischievous personality is returning again! YAY! She is still sleeping a whole lot, but it could be the pain pills doing that to her and this terrible hot weather that we are melting in!
 
Yesterday (Saturday) was a TOTALLY WASTED DAY!  I had not slept much the night before... I was totally flat for the entire day... just sat in the lounge chair totally switched off to even the TV. I did have an hour sleep during the morning, but it only made me feel worse. I never fare well on lack of sleep.
 
Today, (Sunday) Thankfully after 1/4 sleeping pill last night (Saturday night) I had a good night's sleep.  I had so much catching up to do, but, I also had three Zoom meetings today which I absolutely loved, but they took up a large part of my day.  Two of the Zoom meetings were with my church and one with my Logotherapy community.  How grateful I am that we are still able to meet during lockdown in this way ❤ ❤ ❤
 
22 February 21 ~ 6th day post-op
We have our rascally little hooligan back! Sweetpea is full of mischief again! You wouldn't even know she has stitches in still if you saw how wild she is once more! I'm having trouble getting her to take it slow and rest... haahahaa!
 
I'm so happy... OUR LOVELY, CAREFREE, CRAZY SWEETPEA IS BACK! Even Trixie seems to be gradually coming back to life with her sister back. OH JOY! 
 
23 February 2021 ~ 7th day post-op
Life is coming back to normal and I’m very grateful for all the support, Kindness, presence and love that has been shown to us and Sweetpea during this time, and so grateful for the donations thus far. 
 
There is still a great deal to be paid on the Vet bill and the next two rounds of Vaccinations that Sweetpea will have to have done.  If you feel you could assist, please make your donation into our Vet’s account directly. 
 
ABSA: 409 475 1639 (CHEQ)
Branch code: 630 395
Reference: Donation for “Sweetpea Ryall”
 
Vet: Dirk Gouws
Monument Animal Clinic
59 Second Street
Krugersdorp North
Gauteng
1739
 
Telephone: 011 660 2813
 
email: dirkvet@monumentvet.co.za
 
Grateful thanks all the kindness and sharing ❤ ❤ ❤
 
~ Panayiota, Sweetpea and Trixie
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Sweetpea's sterilization day

16/2/2021

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Our dear Sweetpea is home after being spayed and sore and drowsy and not even hungry for her favourite treats, but her wound looks beautifully done and she has pain pills for nighttime for four nights to help her sleep until she's recovered sufficiently.

My youngest son went with me early am, while he was off-duty to take Sweetpea to the animal hospital, and one of my dearest friends and greatest supports in the whole wide world came with me pm to fetch her from the vet and bring her home for which I am truly grateful.

Both Trixie and Sweetpea had their nails cut, chips put in and both were vaccinated. Sweetpea has to go back in two weeks I think they said, for more vaccinations, because she was never vaccinated by the shelter for abused animals before we received her, (a most wonderful, fun-filled, loving gift from our dear friend, Antoinette), so, more expenses... but important and necessary. 

Sweetpea also had her dew claws (not removed), but the nails cut very short under anesthetic. she had everything done under anesthetic thank goodness, including her spare tooth removed. Poor baby must be hurting all over!

I will give her the pain pill a little later tonight to help her to sleep pain-free and well... hopefully.

I forgot to ask how much the bill was... EEEK! I will have to call and ask tomorrow!  I did tell them as I was walking out, that I'd pay the entire bill by the end of March, and in the meantime, we are praying that donations will cover some of the bill to help us. 

Trixie looks like she is doing fine.  She was well behaved at the vet.  Not too happy about her manicure though, but I'm sure she will be glad it's done now.  

We are so grateful for any donation-help, no matter how small, it will make a huge difference.  

Thank you for sharing with me and for any prayers said for Sweetpea to help her through this. 

Bless you and bless Sweetpea.

~ Panayiota 
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Donation plea for Sweetpea (and Trixie)

14/2/2021

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Photo: Since Sweetpea survived her brave battle with the Parvovirus, she is a lot clingier.  Just like a toddler, here she is standing up against my office chair asking me to pick her up.  How could I possibly ignore those beautiful, pleading eyes?  So, I pick her up for a few minutes and have now set up a chair next to my chair for her to lie on.  She’s happy sleeping there right next to me. 
 
Before I start, I’d like to thank the 9 beautiful people who so kindly donated towards Sweetpea’s time in hospital.  8 were people I know and love, but one person was a total stranger… (Courtney… thank you so much) … you are no longer a stranger and I will always be grateful for what you and my other 8 dear friends did to help save Sweetpea’s life.  Courtney and friends, if you ever need an update on how Sweetpea is doing, please write to me on my contact address for this blog:  pattyskeys@gmail.com
 
After all the donations, we were left with a R755 bill to finish off, which we paid on Friday.  Added to that, we also paid another R160 for Sweetpea’s post-hospital checkup so that the Vet could write a letter for the insurance we’ve started for Sweetpea and Trixie. (I’ll mention something about that later)
 
Latest update on Sweetpea
Our girls are doing so well. Sweetpea is 150% better and full of LIFE, LOVE and MISCHIEF again! Sweet little Trixie is content and happy also.
 
I am sending out another fundraising plea for the following in order of priority.  If anyone could help, we’d be so grateful:
 
Sweetpea spaying: R1850 – [once off] (She is booked into the hospital on Tuesday 16th).
 
To have both girls vaccinated: R485 for each dog (Total: R970)
 
Sweetpea’s extra tooth removed: approximately R600 – [once off]
 
Toenails cut: (no idea, but I do remember it was over R100 for each dog, and I want to ask the vet about Sweetpea’s due claws, because the other day she got one stuck in her collar somehow and that freaked me out!  What if I wasn’t here to help her.  So, I’m not sure yet if he can help us with those while she’s under anesthetic and how much it will cost to possibly remove those claws altogether to prevent problems in the future) 
 
We’d also love to have both dogs chip protected: R375 each dog (Total: R750) – [once off]
 
My dear friend who gifted us with Sweetpea not only donated R500 towards Sweetpea’s lifesaving efforts for her last hospital visit, but has also kindly offered R250 a month towards Sweetpea's spaying which is so kind of her, but of course, if we could raise more through donations, being paid into the Vet's account, we would be very grateful.
 
If you can help us with any of the above expenses
Please donate directly into the Vets account to help with the bills.
 
ABSA: 409 475 1639 (CHEQ)
Branch code: 630 395
Reference: Donation for “Sweetpea Ryall”
 
Vet: Dirk Gouws
Monument Animal Clinic
59 Second Street
Krugersdorp North
Gauteng
1739
 
Telephone: 011 660 2813
 
email: dirkvet@monumentvet.co.za
​Extra information, only if you’d like to read a bit more:
 
DotSure accidental insurance for our two dogs
We decided to open a Dot Sure pet accidental-insurance for both dogs at R130.90 per month altogether.  We can't really afford to do that, but the reassurance it gives to me is so important, especially after what we've just been through with Sweetpea and the dreaded Parvovirus. 
 
I live in fear of poisoning, because one of our beloved dogs was poisoned once when I let him out of the house in the early morning, and he died before we found out.
 
Our current house must have been built on a dump also as the soil is full of glass. Every time it rains, more glass is uncovered. So, the accidental insurance covers all accidents, ripping out a nail, swallowing something poison, a foreign object, etc. We would only need to pay 10% shortfall on any “accidental” only, veterinary bills which is a whole lot better than the full amount.
 
Reading over a poem I wrote for Thunder many years ago after he died from poisoning made me cry again. I never want to go through this horror again. I will never forget him.
 
OUR KING OF HEARTS
© All rights reserved ~ www.pattyskeys.co.za
 
Lovely Thunder
Our king of hearts…
A master giver of unconditional love
And true passion
Servant of attention
Beggar for your own desires
Ambassador of goodness
Most Beloved friend
Once alive with your own joy for life
Content to just be near
To those you loved so dear
Your eyes would close easily
When we held you close
Serene and confident
That all was well in your happy world
No one could harm you
When everything was so perfect
Safe in the giving and receiving of love
But harm did find you
In a moment of blissful joy
Soon after you woke that fateful day
A tasty sausage just waiting for you
So delicious! A perfect breakfast treat
All trusting in sheer delight
As you eagerly gobbled it down
No fear of the evil about to possess you
No fear of poisoning! No fear of death
No arms to hold you close
When you closed your eyes for the last time
You died alone in agonizing pain
In the cold, dark night! All alone
Goodbye our faithful, loving friend
We will always hold you in our hearts
Until we meet again
We miss you… Your broken-hearted family
 
~ Panayiota Ryall
(7 September 2002 – In memory of our dear friend, Thunder!)
 
Thank you for sharing this blog post with me.  Please subscribe, or keep a check on my website towards the end of next week if you’d like to see a follow-up on Sweetpea’s operation on Tuesday when she will be spayed, and our visit to the vet.
 
~ Panayiota
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Longing & belonging

12/2/2021

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I absolutely love this father and daughter team:
The Prayer sung by Adrian & Emma-Jean Galliard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgtvtS09W8M
 
There is obviously total trust and absolute love for them to be able to sing and BE so beautifully together. 
 
I could only dream of having such an incredible relationship with my parents. 
 
I have a close relationship with my dad, but never as close as I would have loved and which I dreamed of, for all of my life due to my mother divorcing my dad when I was only 2 years old.  I’m a lot closer today to my dad, but now he is old and stone deaf, so we can barely communicate.  He is being fitted with hearing aids soon, but will I even know how to communicate with him then… such closeness seems so foreign to me, and even a bit scary, because I never really knew it in the first place.  I hope it all works out and so that I can feel brave enough to have real conversations with him.  He’s 90 years old now.  Time and presence are so important… surely there is very little time left for us to get to know each other.  I must make the most of our remaining precious time together.   
 
I recently I said to my mentor, after she’d sent a short video of her and her family (including grandchildren) interacting so beautifully together on the lovely sunny balcony of their home, that I would have loved for her and her husband to adopt me, because I see their family as the perfect family that I’d always longed to be a part of.  She responded:
 
“You ARE adopted and part of our family.  “God places the lonely on families”!”
 
Her words are so meaningful to me and I am so grateful for them.  It reminded me of something she wrote on my Assignment when marking it many years ago. 
 
“Like with Frankl being thrust into terrible suffering, life never abandoned you but was near enough to take you through your hardships with all of its lessons, all of the skills of compassion you gained, to where you are now. And there is a beckoning, more liberating and growth-promoting journey ahead!”
 
I was reminded of how, all through my life, there was always someone or some animal there to walk with me for a time, to inspire, uplift, care about and love me.
 
My sister, my beloved Greek stepmother, my Anne and certain others of my family and Facebook friends, house helpers, neighbours, pets, horses and so many more.  I was never really alone or abandoned, no matter how lonely or abandoned I felt at any one time.  I even have family and friends in Heaven who I KNOW are with me and love me still.  I feel their presence and see the signs of their presence daily and feel so reassured and blessed by them all.

My mentor also wrote to me a while ago: 

"
YOU CAN ALWAYS TRUST THE FACT THAT I WILL NEVER BE UPSET OR DISPLEASED WITH YOU - IMPOSSIBLE!  "Love covers a multitude of sins" - and go and read 1 Corinthians 13, my favorite.  Patience, forgiveness, understanding, whatever is necessary, ALWAYS lovingly accepts the beloved person when they err - don't we all??"


There have been so many “beloved’s” who turned against me when I erred, or when they met my inner-child, but never my mentor and a few other steadfast, longsuffering, faithful souls who could really SEE ME… I was never invisible to them no matter what... I learned to TRUST their friendship and love completely... something so very hard for me to do, but they showed me that I COULD.  

I have come to understand that TRUST is one of the most precious gifts one could ever give and receive... as with LOVE.

I once wrote: 

ABUSER ~ WHEN YOU TOOK AWAY MY TRUST!
© all rights reserved ~ www.pattyskeys.co.za

You sexually and verbally abused me, and beat me broken
You took away every possession I had
And sent away everyone I loved
You starved me
And took away my dignity
Humiliated me
And left me crying in the cold darkness of ‘your’ hate
Yet I was still able to endure it all and more
I was still able to rise up each time and continue on

But when you took away my trust in my fellow man
I became a lost and wondering soul
In the bitter cold world you had created for me to live in…

UTTERLY ALONE

FEELING REJECTED
UNACCEPTED
JUDGED
EXPOSED
INVISIBLE
AND SO SAD

~  Panayiota Ryall
(02 February 2008)

I have so much to be grateful for today, and I am.
 
Thank you for sharing with me.
 
~ Panayiota.
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    Mrs Courageous

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    Since as far back as I can remember, family, friends, complete strangers and strangely even animals (birds included) have come to me for help and comfort and I have always felt the calling to be there for others in any way that I possibly can.

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