I think time is going too fast for me to keep up... or I'm just doing too much at once again... it's crazy but wonderful at the same time. 
 
No real complaints except for sleep problems and struggling at times to stay connected... like, the night before last, woke wide awake at around 01h30... still awake at almost 3am... desperately tired and knew the day would be wasted if I didn’t sleep, so took 1/4 sleeping pill then... eventually fell asleep until just before 8am... late start to the day... remained groggy all day... had important reading/editing work to do, so that went in slow motion, because I was yawning so much and my eyesight was off all day... but... I eventually got it all done.  Thank goodness for a really patient colleague and boss. 
 
What kept me awake, believe it or not, was finding two of my ex daughter in law's old phone numbers on my phone... both phones had been stolen previously... both had profile pictures of other people on them... One a group of children, and the other a really kind looking parking guard… either they were the thieves/family of the thieves, or they were the people they sold/gave the phones to... it occurred to me that both phones must still have my number still on them!!! 
 
Why don't people wipe the contacts off when they steal a phone!  I was disturbed by this, and I don't know how wrong it is, but I wrote on both: 
 
"Are you aware that you are using a stolen phone?  At a time when we all need blessings; we need to earn our blessings also"
 
I didn't feel hate or anything like that when I wrote it. I just felt sorry for the people because I believe in karma and that it would find them… and I felt protective toward my ex daughter in law whose phones had been stolen, but also uncomfortable seeing the stranger’s faces on my ex daughter in law's phone and knowing they had my number still on those phones!  Why?  Surely if you steal a phone you remove all the contacts before making it your own, or giving/selling it to someone else?
 
The one with the children profile picture on it saw the message and never responded, but I blocked both after that.
 
Some news
Last week, one of my most special church friends visited with a bag of fresh salad for me and some pumpkin for Andrew from her and her family. What a lovely blessing... I LOVE my friends, Ellen, Debbie, Sharon and Noleen... Beautiful hearts.
 
Then on the 28th I attended another Logotherapy Zoom meeting with colleagues and students. It was so happy to see their faces and interact with them again, I nearly started crying with joy. I love my Logotherapy family so much!
 
Having my sister on our Logotherapy courses now is truly a miraculous blessing of JOY for my soul. It's been the most amazing blessing to say the least. I wish all my family and friends would study Logotherapy… I wish all the world would.
 
Lovely News
My son and his girlfriend sent photos of their 5 children also... I was so shocked... in a VERY GOOD way... to see how healthy, genuinely happy and free of worries my three grandchildren are looking now that they are living with their dad. The girls have lost weight and they are all looking more grown up and so much more confident. My son's girlfriend is so loving and absolutely adores my grandchildren, and it shows. It took them a while to get the children into a good routine and to respect a new and well-disciplined way of being, taking on certain responsibilities to increase their sense of worth and value, stop the boundary crossing behaviours, etc. but they are in such a good and healthy place right now.  I am so happy for my grandchildren you have no idea! Heaven answered this mother and grandmothers most desperate prayers on behalf of my son and grandchildren.   MIRACLES DO INDEED STILL HAPPEN WHERE TRUE LOVE IS CONCERNED… I am truly grateful.  
 
Thankfully
I still have a close relationship with my ex daughter in law, who is now 9-weeks pregnant by her boyfriend who she is staying with.  I’m really grateful that we are still close and that she is still included in her children’s lives via WhatsApp.  My son and his girlfriend are very accommodating and kind as far as my ex daughter in law goes.
 
SOCIAL DISTANCING!
I struggle to understand the mentality of some people... Via WhatsApp, we offered some left-over bottles of pickles to some young friends who I care about very much. They came the night before last to pick them up. The young girl, straight from her all-day work as a cashier, (dealing with lots of public, touching their money, etc. comes straight into my house... walks right up to me so delighted to see me and gives me a hug! Not even wearing a mask! The neighbours let her in their side of the gate and my youngest son had already opened the front door to take the pickles out to them. All I had time to say to her as she came straight to me, was: "Are you supposed to be coming in like that"... but, TOO LATE!
 
I love that she loves me and has missed me, but, I'm a 63-year-old type 2 diabetic woman... surely there should be some consideration during these times to care enough to protect me from COVID 19…?  She hugged my youngest son on her way in also, and she knows full well about his lung problems.  (He only has one third of a lung on the right side and suffers from bronchial asthma when he gets ill… VERY ILL!)  Both of us are HIGH RISK if we caught the virus!  Anyway... I still love her, but I wish she showed at least some care to protect us both from the possibility of catching the virus. 
 
Seeing things from her perspective
I tried to work out things from her perspective.  She’s young… but that’s not an excuse for not considering an older person or my son.  Also, I guess if you're working every day in a store surrounded by people coming in and out, the only thing that looks and feels different is the mask on every face!  But, otherwise, life must seem to be carrying on as normal for her.  She can’t “just know” that I’ve been out of my confinement only one day in 63-days, because I see the importance of taking care of and protecting myself and my son.
 
She loves and misses us… I do understand that… oh yes, I do… I love and miss them and my family and other friends too… I especially miss HUGS soooooooo much!  But… still not an excuse, if there’s the slightest chance of spreading the virus!
 
There's something to be said for exercising care of others when it's needed… also, when it’s LAW to do so!  Just saying!
 
Thank you for sharing with me.
 
~ Panayiota

I don't know if anyone remembers when our current neighbours moved in, how much they disturbed my sense of peace... sharing our carport between our two houses, they were always loud and drunk, bringing danger in the form of people who wanted to kill them.  Once the angry attackers even ripped off their side of the gate to gain access to them... and the bad language we were often subjected to was something else!  Lots of shouting and screaming, revving their cars that they were always working on right next to ours... exhaust fumes billowing into our house through the top of our roll-up garage door... there was noisy hooting, etc.

Lots of neighbours, including people in homes across the road and me, reported them and they were nearly kicked out a couple of times.

Then one day I decided, I was just going to accept and love them... and it worked so well, that they gained such a huge respect and love for me in return, that they quietened down considerably. And once they realised that I was a Logotherapist, they and even some of their visitors occasionally counselled with me as we stood together in our shared carport. There were no more bad and dangerous people coming to our gate... it was almost as if our neighbours started to protect me. I felt that they'd put themselves in harms way before they let anyone hurt me. Sometimes they would run to open the gate for me when I arrived home, and sometimes even stretch out their hand when I opened my car door to help me out. We shared veggies and little gifts from time to time and lots of kindness and love.

Once our church youth group came to sing Christmas carols outside our gate and we invited our neighbours, reeking with alcohol to join us. They enjoyed that time with us so very much and nobody rejected them for being different, half dressed, and drunk! They were welcomed lovingly ♥

It was so beautiful the way it all turned out... even the other neighbours learned to accept them and there was no more trouble...

Well... they just left, because the owners of the house wanted to come back and have kicked them out.

I don't do goodbyes well at all. Feeling sad, but grateful for the opportunity yet again, to prove that Love has the power to conquer all that is wrong in this world. 

Sometimes what we judge as wrong, is just a place where more love is needed... for giving and receiving. Maybe a place that does not necessarily need any fixing, but where instead, there are lessons for us to gain and learn from. 

​I learned to love my neighbours and feel loved by them also, and so, I'm sad to see them going.

The other neighbours who are moving  back in are another story for another day maybe... HUMPH!

Thanks for being here with me today.

​~ Panayiota

Today's pickings... lots of lettuce, because some were going to seed, so I needed to pull them out as they're casting too much shade. Smaller leaves, but still good enough for salads.

My son and I spent the whole morning in the garden catching up a bit out there... long overdue... loved every minute, but hoping to get back to some of my book editing work before this day is out! My son was very helpful until he fell on his rare end and hurt himself... but nothing serious thankfully.

Thanks for sharing and enjoy the rest of your weekend.

​~ Panayiota.

I don't even remember working on my book last year... and why did I give up again when I was so close to the end ??? My goodness me... talk about subconsciously trying to avoid this work!

I've been working on my book for around 12 years now.  I started it as a part of my Logotherapy studies.  If it wasn't for my logotherapy supervisors at the time I started writing my book, I would NEVER have been able to do it because it required so much very painfully uncomfortable re-hashing over my past! Putting together and trying to make sense of all the puzzle piece memories of my past and in the process, finding my way to healing from it all through my Logotherapy studies and reading that first little book which was such a blessing to my life... "Man's Search for Meaning", by Viktor Frankl (A wonderful life changing book).

Teria, Dr Kanda, Mark, Audrey and Henry all stand out as people who made me feel as though I was GOOD enough and LOVED AND ACCEPTED enough to write my book, and they gave me the courage to start... so, my first draft became a part of my Diplomate in Logotherapy study and it is how I managed to pass that course to receive the title of Logotherapist, which I truly am so grateful for.  A dream I'd never imagined had come true for me.  

“Something meaningful draws us out of ourselves – it enlarges our vision, enriches us and causes us to grow: to become bigger and better than we are.  Frankl quoted Goethe as saying: “If we take a man as he is, we make him worse; if we take him as he ought to be, we help him become it” (Shantall, 2002, p. 19) ~ Life’s Meaning in the Face of Suffering

I must get my book done now!  If it looks like I'm going to stop again, please DON'T LET ME!!!

I'm amazed at how many editing-changes I still made to shorten and improve my book over the last week that I've been at it again... Maybe, just maybe, I was not ready to have it published before... maybe it needed to wait until now to finish it.

A lot has happened since last year! I found out this year, that my horrid stepfather-abuser was still alive and was right here in Johannesburg, somewhere in an old age home! I had to work through that horror! The huge dilemma of whether he should be reported or not, considering he now sits there with Alzheimer's!  It went against everything I believe in, to let him get away with the terrible things he did to me when I was a child, that has affected my life so much!  

Thank goodness for my mentor Teria, for helping me through that time, as I recorded on my blog. (Blog post: "Emotional Dilemma Solved ~ Healing Answers", written 23 February 2020). Her wisdom is phenomenal!

Others might have suggested, forgive and forget... That would have made me so angry and would never have worked! How does one forgive and forget a lifetime of suffering caused by such evil! Only God himself can decide my stepfather's and my other abusers fate... and He will... I believe in Karma, but I also believe very much in God's FAIR judgement.

My work is only, to not end up hating and bitter, or anything like my abusers! It is for me to do the work necessary to rise above what they did, and to be victorious over my sufferings... to take my life-lessons and make something GOOD out of it all... especially in the service of others.

This would be my way of showing my gratitude to LIFE (My God/Heaven), for preserving me and helping me to come this far and to be who I have become today to do the work I am doing now... to never-ever give up! This is my work... nothing more and nothing less!

THE BOOK MUST GET FINISHED THIS TIME AROUND!

Sorry I'm going on, but I really DON'T remember working on the book last year and getting so close to the end of it... AGAIN... it's unbelievable! Facebook memories are something else!

Thank you for sharing.

~ Panayiota

If you are interested in seeing more Logotherapy Dream Interpretation (LDI) posts, you can take a look back on some others I did this year.  I posted about 2 on the 6 March - then one 10 March and another 11 March.  With the most recent posted 25 April.   

To read my paper: "Some Thoughts on Daydreams and Logotherapy", visit:
https://medium.com/@logotherapysa/some-thoughts-on-daydreams-and-logotherapy-b5c8c96be148

For more on our new online Logotherapy courses, visit: www.vfisa.co.za