Conversation with a friend 10 ~ Response to post 22 January 2016 ~ The discomfort and fear of growing older

~ Posted 4th February 2016 ~
 
Miryam: (Responding to my previous post)
This so totally clicks with me, also!
I am 66 and live alone and even though I have 1 adult daughter (who is a grandmother herself) who lives nearby, she seldom comes because of how busy she is.
 
I did some online research about a year ago about depression in the older populations.  Those who participated in the studies disclosed that the number 1 cause they attribute their depression to is loneliness.
 
This could be turned into a very positive service for the elderly - volunteer companions (actual caregivers are a different category), services, programs etc.  There are many in place already but not nearly enough.  AND many of the study participants who were already receiving such services STILL say that they fight loneliness all the time.  Perhaps it’s a relational issue.  Disconnect from family and longings for what was and the hopelessness that accompanies the realization that the longings are futile. They feel that life has no meaning left for them. 
 
Pana: 
I heard myself saying out aloud... “OH YES!!!  Someone understands!”  
 
Thank you so much for what you have shared here... it means the world to me!
 
This last statement struck me the most, because I truly believe this is exactly how it is for many older people: 

"Disconnect from family and longings for what was and the hopelessness that accompanies the realization that the longings are futile. They feel that life has no meaning left for them." 
 
I believe that volunteer companions would be wonderful and agree that (caregivers are a different category)... Volunteer companions if loving, consistent, caring, etc. enough, could in some small but meaningful measure, stand in place of family for the aged. 
 
They could visit often and most importantly, regularly, just to update and catch up with the older folk on their stories and to “listen” and assist with patience and genuine loving heart.  And also to help them with their simple needs, like cutting nails, and even seemingly arbitrary needs, such as releasing the first piece of glued down paper from their toilet rolls.  I took care of a dear older lady once, her name was Norma and she struggled to do even that and seemed to feel so ashamed and embarrassed by asking me to help her with it.  I would release the first sheet of every roll in the new package every time I visited, to make sure she wouldn't have the same problem again until the next packages arrived and then I’d do it again for her.
 
Norma, loved me to read scriptures to her and I would even sing to her or read her my latest poems, etc.  We became the dearest of friends, and for me, she also filled in as the loving mother I never had... it was most beautiful to spend time with her... I do miss her since I moved too far away to visit her. 
 
I would love to write something for old folk using Logotherapy... but for now, time just won't allow... I have so much to do and a book I’m already writing and another I’m writing with a friend in Israel... there’s just too much going on already... I hardly even have time to keep up with blog posts so they are often far and few between.   You can always tell when I’m most busy, because I just can’t get to the blog at all for days on end. 
 
Miryam:
Be well, my friend. And keep fighting the good fight! You are a courageous and beautiful warrior and a winner of the first order of greatness. You have come so far and are reaching out to others in pain. You are an admirable example of faith and fortitude!  Love you!
 
Pana:
Thank you for your kind words dear Miryam... I love you too dear friend. 
 
When I'm rich and famous I'm coming to visit you J I can’t wait! (Me dreaming on)
 
Miryam:
Can't wait either till you are rich and famous so we can meet in person.
 
 
Miryam Heiliczer:  https://thewellbalancedsoul.wordpress.com/
 
"The Well Balanced Soul" can also be found as a Facebook page.  People are invited to view and "like" the page.


~ Pana