LOCKDOWN DIARY ~ Days 14

April 9
It's a wonderful feeling to know that we are coronavirus free after 14 days lockdown incubation period from when My son came home from his last day at work on the 26th March. 
 
I slept well last night, but the day before I was wiped-out due to lack of sleep, therefore today (Thursday 9th April) I had lots of housework catching up to do... it's never ending and a disaster if I miss a day like I did yesterday!
 
By today, we needed some essentials again, so My son went shopping.  He passed by my sister, who so kindly gave him two masks and a pair of gloves for protection (I believe that gloves are not the safest, but he wore them anyway... he was not aware). 
 
My reason for sending him (we prayed for his protection first), instead of going myself, was because I am a nurse and a mom, so if he got sick, I might be able to help him, before I got the virus from him (if I died then, at least he would be okay)… but if I got sick first, that could prove absolutely terrible for us both.
 
When he came home from the shops, I couldn't believe how irritated he was with me for asking him to leave everything outside by our front door step and take his shoes off... all so that I could first spray everything with Jik solution and wipe down with a clean cloth, removing packaging where possible, etc. before bringing it all into the house.
 
When I asked him not to touch anything on his way in... take his clothes off and drop them in the washing machine and then go straight to the bathroom to wash... he was so annoyed... (Goodness me, he'd already been shopping... wasn't that enough work for the day that took him away from his games!)  I did my best to remain patient, but, oh my, I am quite sure that this 33-year-old man-child would not survive on his own... he doesn't seem to have a clue about responsibility and it PAINS me to believe, that he would not be able to protect his family.  It is just not in him to see reason or logic (Asperger's Syndrome for those who don't already know). 
 
Other than that, he's a really good person... good and tender heart... even a certain childish innocence that makes him uniquely special.  He can cry easily if he sees something really inspirational or touching on TV... he needs such special understanding... I had to talk to him once he had settled down, about attitudinal values.  (After 14 days of sitting playing his games, he should have been so grateful for the opportunity to go out and stretch his legs for a few hours.) 
 
Sometimes my son’s more negative behaviours (which I DO NOT believe he intends to harm others with) leaves me feeling deeply alone in the world, taking me right back to that far distant place in my childhood… a place that my mind still works relentlessly to escape from, causing me to dissociate more than usual and go into a depression that I struggle to emerge from. 

​So these quotes kind of stand out for me in trying to explain this lasting and destructive childhood phenomena of mine.

Last night, our country's President announced that our Lockdown has been extended until the end of April... Two weeks longer than we expected.  And who knows, maybe longer after that.  It is therefore so important that we exercise not only our bodies, but our minds also... attitudinal values are so very important for so many reasons at a time like this. 
 
“Attitudinal values are values which we experience through the right attitudes we have towards life, especially towards inexplicable suffering” (Shantall, 2003, p.40) ~ The Quest for Destiny
 
“Attitudinal values rank higher than creative and experiential values” (Frankl, 2000, p.124) ~ Man’s Search for Ultimate Meaning

Thanks for sharing.

~ Panayiota