More Love and Connection Needed Please

(Written 22nd February ~ Continued 4th March)

We have a family group on WhatsApp... practically only four of us ever visit it regularly... everyone else is too busy... it makes me sad sometimes, because I like to feel them near.  It really could take only a few seconds a day to at least respond with a smiley face or a heart if nothing else... just to show they are there and acknowledging family ties and maybe... feeling the love.
 
When one of "the four" dies, then there will be only three... will anyone miss the one gone if they're not missing them already...

I'm already missing the ones who don't pop in regularly… and they're alive. It's sad how "too busy to show or share the love" so many of us have become in this world.

I guess it’s just me… I am lonely and isolated most days, so, that WhatsApp group and even popping into Facebook once or twice during a day… and my vital connections through my work, have become my only way of really feeling connected with the world and loved ones...

Those who have busier lives don't seem to need more connection than they have already packed into their days... but I still can’t help wonder… what about values regarding family connectedness and unity... what's happening there?

I guess we can't demand to be loved, so I have learned to accept what portion I can receive from the world, even outside of direct family... even the left overs and dregs of love people have to spare... it needs to be ENOUGH, because THE NOTHING is even worse.
 
So, I've also learned that reaching out with my love is a way to FEEL THE LOVE... to receive back for my own heart’s needs.
 
I would admit without shame… I’m very needy of love and reassurance of love… I’m not shy to admit that, because Patty will always be crying out from within me for all she missed as a child.  So, is there a need for more love and connectedness to be shown in this world, or is this just my loneliness and longings for “perfect love ~ The way Patty felt it always should have been” still speaking? 
 
Is anyone else feeling the lack of vital love and connectedness in this “too busy world” or is it just me?
 
I often sign off a letter or message with, “I love you”, but it’s not often I receive the same back.  It hurts a lot… especially when I am needing to feel their love in return.  So, I find myself second guessing myself… wanting to stop saying and writing what I feel… but if I allow that to happen, then it means I’m allowing myself to change… for the worse.  My adult side knows and understands that not everyone is able to be as free with their love as I have always tried to be.  So, I have to let them be… who they are… and continue to be… who I am.  I cannot let them change me… I must not.
 
Sending out my love to all those who are in need of love today. Have a beautiful and blessed day to you all <3
 
~ Panayiota
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9jZUSP6Cg4
 

Continued... 4th March 2108 ~ Strange how I wrote the above, including the link at the end on the 22nd February and never got around to posting it… then today, 4th March 2018, I found the following important article called: “The Opposite of Addiction is Connection”… written by Jonathan Davis.  I have taken an excerpt from it, but the full article is a must read and please listen to the video at the end also:

“How Our Ability to Connect is Impaired by Trauma
Trauma is well-known to cause interruption to healthy neural wiring, in both the developing and mature brain. A deeper issue here is that people who have suffered trauma, particularly children, can be left with an underlying sense that the world is no longer safe, or that people can no longer be trusted. This erosion (or complete destruction) of a sense of trust, that our family, community and society will keep us safe, results in isolation” https://upliftconnect.com/opposite-addiction-connection/
 
Also: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_General_Theory_of_Love  (looks like a book I’d very much like to have to read and maybe make a presentation out of).
 
I believe that I was addicted to alcohol in my 20’s living with my first abusive husband.  I was also addicted to eating in excess for most of my life… Logotherapy found me in my 50’s and my whole life has changed exponentially since then for the better, both emotionally and physically. 
 
What is it about my Logotherapy world that has helped me to heal so far as I have to this day?
 
I believe it is the very thing that this article above speaks about… CONNECTION… feeling mostly, completely accepted, loved, appreciated, wanted, unjudged, heard, needed, and a part of… feeling as though I belong. 
 
Nothing has ever helped me so much as my Logotherapy World has.  I am so very grateful for my wonderful Logotherapy Mentor, her dear husband, David, and the rest of my LogoFamily… and to all those other rare and beautiful in my life, who have loved me for me, and helped me to believe and trust in their love and in my “being in this world”. 
 
Let it be noted, that whenever a connection that I trusted and believed in crumbles, I experience it as if it were a death and I crumble for a time also.
 
Once again, remembering the poem I once wrote:
 
ONLY LOVE CAN LIFT THE CURSE!
© All rights reserved ~ www.pattyskeys.co.za
 
He doesn’t want people to know him,
For he no longer knows himself,
He doesn’t want people to feel for him,
Because he no longer feels much for himself!
 
He doesn’t want people to celebrate for him,
For he celebrates not for himself,
He doesn’t want people to love him,
For he doesn’t love himself!
 
Don’t live for him; don’t die for him,
Don’t even exist for his life,
For he’s no longer living or dead,
And he doesn’t exist for himself!
 
He denies that he has a problem,
Yet he struggles in a lonely place,
Where he’s tried to rub out his own feelings,
And has even erased his own face!
 
Don’t hate him for who he’s becoming,
You will only make things so much worse!
Love him regardless, I beg of you,
For Only Love can lift the curse!
 
~ Panayiota Ryall
 
I might continue to repeat this poem from time to time in my blog posts, because I truly do believe in the great power of LOVE for every aspect of healing in this world.  I cannot overemphasise this belief that I hold true in my heart.
​
Which comes to a potential blog post I started writing on the 2nd March 2018, and never found time to finish and post yet...  “Different hearts – different expectations – different LOVE”.  I will try finish it off the way I intended to in the next post.
 
So much to do… so little time…
 
Thank you for sharing with me today.
 
~ Panayiota